What’s the “Deal” Wayne Brady?

Productions & Concerts, Raves & Rotten Reviews, Royal Ramblings!, Uncategorized, You Can't Make This Shit Up!

Really Wayne Brady?

Really Wayne?  Is this the best you’ve got for those people who have been your fans for years? Where is the funny guy, the friendly guy, the personable guy we all think of when we see Wayne Brady? I just have to ask!

Last weekend, my daughter Alyse, her friend Liza and myself took the hike up to LA to be on Let’s Make a Deal.

Now, if you know me, I’m ALL about putting together costumes!  I have, literally, dozens and dozens of costumes in totes in the top of my closet.  If you can think it up, I probably have a costume for it.

Your’s truly, my daughter Alyse, and her friend Liza. We are pretty damned glamorous, you have to admit! 🙂

We decided to go as the Three Blind Mice.  When I do a costume, I do it up to the last detail. We had mouse tummies, mouse ears, mouse bow-ties, mouse tails, mouse “canes”, sunglasses.  Sayings printed on the back of our costumes, and great 2 sided signs, with oh-so-clever sayings……..  If that doesn’t get you chosen for Let’s Make a Deal, what would, right?

The Wait Begins………

So, if you’ve never been to one of the TV game shows, let me tell you, this is a LONG and drawn out affair!  It starts with the reservation to go up there, then when you get there, you stand in line to prove you are supposed to be in the audience.  You have to show your reservation and your ID.  Then you go through a security check and metal detector…….. after that the wait starts.

Waiting in the line that seemed to take forever. But we kept the “perfect contestant” smiles plastered on our little mouse faces!

You are handed a clipboard, with about 8 pages of small print.  You fill that in and wait. And wait. And wait.  There are various people you connect with to get your ID scanned, paperwork checked out, nametags, numbers, blah, blah, blah…….

We were aware that they are checking you out the whole time to see if you are “fun material” for TV, so we kept the fun-a-coming….. the happy attitudes in check and the cuteness factor just oozing from our bodies for every damned minute…… hour (and seemingly day and week).

The thing that amazed me was the amount of people who come into this process WITH NO COSTUME!  Yep!  You can rent them there.  Now, silly me….. the way I would do this thing would be to look at who really made an effort at a costume, made it fun, made it creative — and they would be at the top of the “people to choose” list.  Evidently, not so, as you will soon see!

Don’t get too excited about this picture. This is just a “fakey” they do in front of a blue screen! Your phone is confiscated AGES before you get to the studio. We were actually sitting behind where my left ear was when we were in the audience.

At the end of the long and tedious line, you are pulled off into a little section at the end of the room with about 20 people, where one of the producers goes around, asks your name, what you do, etc…….. then into the holding tank you go, with all of those who are going to be on the show that day.

You’d think they might give you a clue, such as, “The bus to the studio will be boarding approximately “blah-blah” time, or “15 minutes after the last contestants get through their interview” or “when hell freezes over” or “when you die of old age” or “once Bettie White is no longer the most popular female in the US.”   Uh, no.  No hint.  You are a bit scared to go off to the potty, because it’s out the door, down and around the building, and up on a trailer full of porta’ potties. (Seriously?  They can’t even give you a REAL bathroom here at the Let’s Make a Deal holding pen? Let me tell you, on a day that hovered in the 80’s with more damn humidity than is legal in Cali’- this was not a pleasant experience.)  So, you don’t know if they might call everyone while you are porta’ pottying it, and you might miss the whole damn show!  And, when you are one of the 3 Blind Mice, you miss it, and the rest of the gang is also kinda’ shit outta’ luck for their costume ensemble…..

A little information for the masses would be nice you execs in charge of Let’s Make a Deal.  Just sayin!

Me and Liza. (BTW- might know that out of hundreds of people, I’d get assigned contestant number 69! Just sayin’!)

So, it’s once you are put into the “holding pen” that those who need to can rent a costume.  These aren’t great costumes.  Not by any stretch.  A lot of “Hawaiian Shirt and plastic lei” type of stuff. Santa and Santa’s helper. With “Santa” consisting of the Santa top & hat, no beard, no Santa pants or boots…… Very basic, not-a-real-costume type of costume…

And the wait goes on…..and on….. and on……

We kept up our happy-as-fuck little effervescent attitudes, however, because we KNEW we were being judged each and every moment.  Once 3 separate people gave us our marching orders (all 3 speeches were basically the same, BTW!) We were told that, indeed, we were being watched moment by moment, both now and throughout the show, until the very last moment, and we needed to keep our enthusiasm til the end, act excited if we won a prize, even if we hated it more than our mother-in-law, don’t touch Wayne Brady in any way, unless he gave explicit consent, and don’t chew gum…… we finally were herded into buses to go to the studio.

Upon getting to the studio, we were then herded into a sort of hallway to sit until further notice. Again, a bit of information would be nice.  Information such as how long we might be there, if/when and where we could go to the bathroom, etc.  Of course, the moment my daughter wandered off to the bathroom they started us moving inside, giving the other 2 members of the “blind mice” ensemble a moment of panic.

It might be nice before they DO herd you into the studio to tell you you WON’T be able to get a drink of water, or go to the bathroom for the next 2 hours or more……… HOLY GOD, is that too much to ask?  Heads up here people, do what you have to do, and you have this much time to do it in……… NOPE!

Then the fun, and the disappointment begins.

Once they seat us in the studio, there is yet another speech (#4 for those of you who have stopped counting).  This speech reiterates the same content which was gone over repeatedly before boarding the bus.  I DO fully understand, that some of the people in said audience are not rocket scientist….. but SERIOUSLY?  This isn’t LIVE TV, and if someone really F’s up, they CAN edit it out……

“His Royal Highness” Arrives!

Then “his highness” arrives on the set.  We are all prepared for the moment.  When Wayne Brady enters, the first person he calls up is a gal who isn’t even IN a costume.  SERIOUSLY?  WTF?  She was cute, and did win a motorcycle, so we were all pleased for her.  When it’s time for a commercial break, Wayne strolls out, no interaction in ANY WAY with the audience.  Not a wave, not a smile, not a joke, nothing! We, however, stand up and, as Liza put it, “dance like monkeys” the whole commercial break, because that’s how they told us they choose people for the segments. It was like rinse, and repeat for the rest of the taping of the show.  Almost everyone chosen for the show was- are you ready?…… wearing one of the IDIOTIC RENTAL COSTUMES!

Closeup of Alyse and Liza. Once you are on the show, your contestant number comes off.

There was one costume that was UBER popular in the audience.  This was a hat type device which looked like a milk carton, and your face became the face on the milk carton.  There were at least 7 people in the audience with that clever $5.00 costume.  There were 3 “rainbow unicorns.”  90% of the costumes were easy-peasy purchased costumes We had the only hand held signs in the whole audience.  No notice of that!  We had accessories! We had cuteness!  We had creativity!  All that, on top of our sparkling personalities the whole frickin’ day!  And none of us were called!

There was one gal in our “group” who did get called up front.  We were so happy for her! She was a kind of Sandra Bullock look-alike, and very friendly.  Her costume was a slot machine, and she had personalized it with Wayne Brady phrases on it.  Alyse called it early on that she would get chosen, and we were excited to see her do well.

Wayne Brady……. Not So Much……

But the worst part of the experience? Wayne Brady. Wayne Brady and his lack of interaction with anyone in the audience.  He didn’t actually even ACKNOWLEDGE us in any way shape or form!  Other than 2 funny bits he did while the camera was rolling with guys on stage and in the audience, none of us existed.  We were simple “props”, and not worthwhile human beings.

Like mother, like daughter. Even as blind mice we look similar! Turns out, Wayne Brady is kind of a dirty rat. At least, not a very friendly one, as it turns out!

Wayne, Wayne, Wayne……. I’ve loved you since I saw the first Who’s Line is it Anyway…. but I’ll never feel the same about you.  Bummer! I don’t think a bit of kindness to the people in the audience would have been too much to ask from you. Wayne actually came right in front of us in the audience, to get to the woman they were choosing for “the big deal”.  No eye contact, not a hello, not a hi five…… in fact, I don’t think he knew we were humans he raced in front of.

Wayne, you pompous little ass! You hadn’t been standing in line all day. You hadn’t been in the holding pen for hours. I’m pretty damned sure YOU hadn’t missed lunch.  You weren’t dying of thirst and needing a bathroom.  Would a little hand wave, a few hugs, maybe a little joke or two have killed you? What’s the deal, Wayne?  Did you forget the people who put in in front making the big bucks? Our relationship is officially over now you chump!  I’m embarrassed for you and your lack of simple kindness and compassion to the people who came to see you.  Nice suit, by the way.

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  • Jacki L Windish
    August 15, 2017 at 7:12 pm

    WOW I went on Lets make a Deal 45 years ago with Monty Hall and it was nothing like that ! he was friendly and shook hands etc….. but yes the day was grueling ! I have never been a wayne Brady fan ever- I always thought he was a bit to in to himself! and corny !

    • Patti
      August 15, 2017 at 11:51 pm

      Jacki, Thanks for taking time to read, AND to comment. You are right, the day is grueling and long! I, unfortunately, HAVE been a Wayne Brady fan. I am not a TV watcher in general, but have seen Whose Line is it Anyway, and always felt that to be that quick on your feet and do improve, you would have to be, not only pretty damned sharp, but have personality plus! So much for that assessment, huh?

      Wouldn’t you think he’d do just what you said Monty Hall did- shake hands, interact a bit, etc? Oh well. That’s it Jacki! When I have my own show and I’m wearing the “big britches” we’ll just see how nice I am to Wayne Brady! 🙂

  • Don
    August 16, 2017 at 12:20 am

    Where are you Monte Hall? Seems all the old game show hosts were so personable. At least Alex Trubek is still doing Jeopardy!

    • Patti
      August 16, 2017 at 12:24 am

      Don, I guess all the way around, people just aren’t what they were “back in the day!”

  • Jodie Jacobs
    August 16, 2017 at 12:37 am

    Patti, I am enjoying your blog! You write well and have an interesting life. And because I know you personally it makes it even better! I look forward to your next subject and story. And, by the way…..you make a great Queen.

    • Patti
      August 16, 2017 at 5:18 am

      Jodie, Thanks for reading. Thanks for being nice. And most of all, thanks for agreeing that I make a great Queen. I really DO, huh?

  • Jodie Jacobs
    August 16, 2017 at 12:37 am

    Patti, I am enjoying your blog! You write well and have an interesting life. And because I know you personally it makes it even better! I look forward to your next subject and story. And, by the way…..you make a great Queen.

  • Diana
    August 16, 2017 at 12:56 am

    So disappointing! I also have been a Wayne Brady fan for a long time, but your experience makes me change my opinion.

    • Patti
      August 16, 2017 at 5:17 am

      Diana, I agree! I have LOVED Wayne Brady – but my planned trip to Las Vegas for my birthday WON’T include tickets for HIS show! No way! REALLY? Is it THAT difficult to be KIND and NICE to people? SO DISAPPOINTED in Wayne Brady!

  • Jennifer
    August 16, 2017 at 1:20 am

    We watch that show every single day! I’m so bummed. I always thought Wayne was the greatest funniest most charismatic guy. OMGosh, I don’t know what to do now. Should I still watch. . . will anyone notice if we don’t. . . what to do, what to do?

    • Patti
      August 16, 2017 at 5:15 am

      Jennifer, Well…………I can’t tell you WHAT to do, but just know, Wayne Brady is NOT a nice person! We were not people. we were just “props!” When I am REALLY rich and famous, you can bet your bottom dollar, I’m still going to be nice, and fun, and CARE about people! 🙂

  • Cheryl Sutcliffe
    August 16, 2017 at 4:25 am

    How disappointing! I enjoyed Wayne Brady back from “Whose Line Is It?” as well.

  • Debbra
    August 16, 2017 at 12:11 pm

    Humility. You can see it in old clips of him. He used to be humble, more genuine. If you look at a lot of his work over the past 5 years or so- he’s been distant. Bummer for you Patti. At least you have another cool costume and a good blog from it. 🙂

    • Patti
      August 17, 2017 at 3:08 pm

      Debbra, Well said. Well, you can count on the fact that when I’m “rich and famous” I won’t forget the “little people”. I may cut off their heads when they piss me off, but I won’t forget them! 🙂

  • TJ Stroben
    August 19, 2017 at 6:14 am

    We went The Price is Right years ago and Bob Barker was the same way.

    I was on Wheel of Fortune. Had a great day and experience. Pat and Vanna where Charming. I won several prizes!

    I also heard that Johnny Carson was known not to talk to his guests at all during commercial breaks. Even his fellow comedians! Awkward 🐵🐵

    • Patti
      August 19, 2017 at 6:54 am

      TJ, Thanks for reading the blog, and for taking time to reply! We had a family friend who was on Wheel of Fortune not too long ago, and had a good experience on there too! An old neighbor of mine knew Johnny Carson, as her dad was friends with him, and she said he wasn’t exactly Mr. “warm and fuzzy!” What is it with these people? If you don’t like people, why do you get in a business where people idolize you and look up to you? Duh…….. Well, I said it before, and I’ll say it again…… When I am world famous, I’m going to be nice to the “little people.” And, I’ll be nice to the regular size people too…….. 🙂

  • Julie Hiltsley
    August 28, 2017 at 9:43 pm

    I had the same experience. It was such a long day, you were shuffled from one place to another. It is really hard to stay “up” even though you know they are watching you. Never say never, but it would take a lot to get me to do it again.

    • Patti
      August 28, 2017 at 10:55 pm

      Julie, It is definitely a hard day’s “work”! I thought as “QUEEN” I had it tough, waving to my constituents constantly at Queenly functions, but I have to say, being a “BLind Mouse”, schlepping all of the accessories involved, and remaining perky was just about all I could take in a day! I felt like the Barbie in Toy Story, when she says, “My cheeks are killing me!”