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Fabulous After 50

I’m Not A Zen Girl!

Fabulous After 50, Health = Happiness!, My Humble Opinion, Uncategorized, You Can't Make This Shit Up!

Meditation- I give it about 3 seconds til I hit the “crazy” button!

Dancing is the New Meditation

I have heard for decades that the best way to relax and achieve inner harmony is to meditate.  You can’t live in Southern California without have a hundred people tell you “it’s the way to go.” I call BS on that!  Don’t get me wrong.  If you meditate, and it works for you, more power to you!  I”ll even give you an “Om” to go.

It’s just that meditation, to me is the greatest and easiest way to stress out I have ever tried.  I’ve tried it more than a handful of times.  And here is exactly what happens.  I sit in this place I’ve decided to be quiet in and cleanse my mind.  In approximately 30 seconds a committee shows up in my head. The committee is loud.  It’s raucous.  They all begin to talk, taunt and tease.  I suddenly am filled with thoughts of all of the “productive” things I could be doing.  Should be doing.  Need to get done.  I think of things with work that I have been putting off.  I think of things I could be writing for my blog, rather than just sitting here, wasting time.  I think of things that need to be done in my house. How many things I need to organize. The closets that could use cleaning, the drawers that need sorting.  I think of things that WILL need to be done for work, my house, my blog in the near future.  I think about places I could go for travel and enjoyment, and want to look those things up on the internet RIGHT THEN.

I begin to think about things that really bug me.  Things that have bothered me for awhile. Things I didn’t even  KNOW bothered me.  Now I start to get REALLY irritated at the things that I didn’t even know were bothering me.

Any small problem in my life can take on gargantuan proportions when I sit down to meditate. They suddenly become overwhelming.

Meditation = STRESS For My Brain!

While attempting to meditate I start to think about things I have recently seen on Facebook that I thought were really profound.  Or really cute. Or really irritating.   You know the things I’m referring to- the political posts that differ from your opinion.  The people that voice their totally inane and negative opinions on someone’s post, which were TOTALLY unnecessary.  The more I am supposed to “empty my mind” the more that comes in to crowd it, and  my blood pressure goes up.  Which is, I think the direct opposite of the point of meditating.

All of this brain hyperactivity  can be accomplished in record time.  I’m sure I’ve just spent at LEAST three hours in the process, and when I look at the clock, I’ll be damned, five minutes haven’t even passed! God bless you if this meditation thing calms you down. It just stresses the hell out of me!

The same people who like to meditate, enjoy Yoga. Don’t even get me going on that one!  If I’m going to spend an hour in an exercise class, I want to feel like it’s doing something for my body. I can’t get through half a yoga class without wanting to laugh at the absurd positions (which don’t seem to be building any sort of muscle that I can tell). I want to giggle at the silly names they call them. And for some reason, the people in Yoga class are just too damned serious about the whole thing.  It becomes a religious activity for them, it seems.  Forget Yoga…..I much prefer to do a few crunches, hold a plank, lift a few weights, or Zumba my way to cardio health.  In Zumba you can’t help but have a happy attitude! Why- because DANCE MOVES are happening there!

Screw meditating! I’m just NOT a Zen girl!

I’m Not a Zen Girl!

I guess the cat is out of the bag.  I’m not a Zen girl.  My idea of relaxing is planning a party, figuring out my next event, or dancing.  Dancing is my “drug of choice.”

When I went through a divorce about 8 years ago, I decided to take up dancing.  It was something I’d always wanted to learn, and it was the first thing I set my mind to when I knew the marriage was over.  Now THERE is a stress reliever! There is a blood pressure reducer!  And, like meditation and yoga combined- it’s GREAT for your body!  Within a few months, although I was out every evening and enjoying a few drinks, I looked better than I had in years!  I lost weight and toned up, without dieting or even TRYING!

Dancing- My “Drug of Choice!”

When you dance, the committees can’t be in your head, because you are too busy following the lead of your partner.  You can’t think about the problems you’ve got going on, what needs to be done at home, what is going on with work.  There is only one focus.  Dancing.  What the next move is, where your partner and your body are going to lead you.

For me, dancing gives me all the benefits of meditation, and then some.

If sitting in a quiet room, making your mind blank works for you, then go for it!

Just PLEASE don’t try telling me that it’s a stress reliever!  Not for my A type of personality!  Thirty minutes of meditation a day would probably put me in the grave within the first month!

No matter what problems I have in life, after a few hours dancing I feel refreshed, at peace and in tune with my body and soul.

Dancing video, Kingston Mines (This is a little video my daughter shot of Don & I when we were all in Chicago this summer.  I realize the video is dark, and I apologize!  If you get to Chicago, this place is worth visiting!)

 

My “New Guy” Turned Out to Be a Real Dummy!

Fabulous After 50, Raves & Rotten Reviews, Travel and Adventure, Uncategorized

Do You Know the Way to San Jose?

One of the thousands of Rosebuds at the San Jose Rose Garden.

Don and I just had a quick little get away to the San Jose area.  (If you are anywhere near my age, the song, “Do you know the way to San Jose” popped in your head the minute you read where we had been, didn’t it? Come on, admit it!) Typically, when I am up in that area, I’m a San Francisco girl.  I can’t ever get enough of that city!  But this trip, we didn’t even venture into the city. We stayed right around the San Jose area.

We had a fun and relaxing time, and got in a lot of sightseeing. The first evening in town, we had dinner at a fabulous restaurant in Palo Alto called St. Michael’s Alley. If you are in that area and have a chance, I’d highly recommend it! We were at a private dinner function in a back dining room, with limited menu choices.  I got a scallop dish that was out of this world, and Don had lamb.  Let me tell you, I’d go back for either one of those dishes!  My seared sea scallops were served on a slice of Yukon potatoes, with a bit of bacon on top and an herb butter sauce.  I’m not too proud to admit, it was all I could do not to pick up the plate and lick it! Don of then started his meal with a delicious Lobster bisque and I had a wonderful salad of a variety of tomatoes with burrata.  Yummm!  We even went all out and ordered dessert.  The service was impeccable, the company was delightful and the setting was lovely.  Try it out if you get to Palo Alto, or frankly, anywhere in the nearby area!  It would be worth going a bit out of your way for.

Kind of A Dummy!

(I thought my new crush was kind of  cute, but it turned out, he was kind of a “dummy” and not much of a conversationalist either!)

The next day, after a relaxing breakfast and a read of the paper, Don wanted to go to the Computer History Museum, in Mountain View. Now mind you, a girl who really isn’t all that techy wouldn’t put this “tourist attraction” at the top of her list, but since he accommodates my every whim, how could I possibly say no?  This museum gives you info on “computers” all the way back to the abacus! I will admit, it was more interesting than I expected it to be!

Sitting by my new crush!

My favorite part of the museum was the crash test dummy.  I just had to have my picture done with him!  Turn out, he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, as they say!  Not much of a conversationalist either!

Don enjoyed himself, and that’s what matters most!

Don was checking out his photos after “geeking out!”

Then we were off to a delicious lunch.  Don’t you just love how, nowadays, you just ask for the top restaurants near you, and WHAM- you can find a delicious place to eat, without taking much of a risk of getting a bad meal! Thanks to “Siri” and her help, we found The Voya Restaurant, in Mountain View.  The restaurant was an unexpected delight!  We had a charming server, and we went with his suggestion of a house specialty pork dish, Cochinita Pibil which we shared.  It proved to be as delicious as he promised, and more than enough to fill us up!  Once again, I’d suggest stopping by if you are in the area.  It’s well worth the trip!

Enjoying a fabulous “get away” lunch at the Voya Restaurant, Mountain View, CA

The Winchester  Mystery House

The back garden of the Winchester Mystery House

Then, on we went to a tourist attraction I’ve wanted to see for over 30 years- The Winchester Mystery House.  We were there for HOURS, and even then, the tours we took only covered less than 100 of the 160 rooms in the house!  This woman didn’t know the meaning of “enough is enough!”  I won’t cover this attraction in too much detail, because I plan another blog about it soon.  My suggestion is that when you go- wear comfortable shoes!  Just on the main tour alone, you cover more than 1 mile, and I can’t even begin to imagine how many steps, up and down, down and up!

Our evening ended up with seeing the movie Dunkirk and my dinner was a HUGE ice cream cone at the theater.  I guess I subscribe to the saying “Life is short, eat dessert first!”  I figured I could use the “I’m on vacation” excuse for this one!

San Jose Rose Garden is a spectacular treat for the senses! Not to mention, it’s FREE!

He Never Promised Me a Rose Garden…….

Hundreds and hundreds of rose bushes make up this spectacular, world famous rose garden! The perimeter of the garden has beautiful, stately Redwood trees.  What a beautiful combination!

Our last day, we went to see the San Jose Municipal Rose Garden, which has been voted “the world’s best rose garden.”  It is truly a beautiful sight to see, with literally hundreds of rose varieties, and they are surrounded by beautiful redwoods.  Dead center in the middle of the roses is a beautiful fountain.  At first glance, the fountain almost looks like it is made of crystal or clear glass.  The whole park is a delight to see.

When you first see the fountain, it appears to be made of glass or crystal!

We were told by a volunteer who was cutting back some of the roses that just before Mother’s Day is the most spectacular time to see the roses here. We plan to return, Don with camera and tripod in hand to capture the beautiful sight!

Beautiful roses, every size, every color, and all with different scents!

No matter where we travel, we always seem to have a great adventure, and it’s always fun to share it with my friends!

My theory is that money spent on travel is the best money you will ever spend!  DON’T WAIT until you have money and time to take the biggest trip possible!  Fit in those little 2 or  day adventures into your life! They are well worth it, and can be done on a budget, if that is what you need to do!

The “Bees Knees”- Restoring my Knees!

Fabulous After 50, Health = Happiness!, Serious Shit, Uncategorized

Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That! Aching Knees Are NO Fun!

You’ve GOT to Take Care of Yourself!  No One Else Will!

I’m about the most active person I know.  I dance a few times a week, exercise fairly regularly, and go, go, go!  I fit more life in a week than many people do in a month.  Maybe two months.  So…….. imagine my surprise when, without notice, my knees went from fine to completely fucked within a matter of about 2 months.  Seriously, I’m not exaggerating about this. Everything was A-OK, when I went on a cruise last Oct 1.  I tend to take the stairs between everywhere I go on a cruise, just to avoid the elevator crowds AND to try to burn a few of the excessive calories I am consuming while cruising.  About 4 days into the cruise my knees were stiff and hurting worse and worse every time I took the stairs.  I finally had to give up doing the stairs before the end of the cruise.  From there they just got increasingly worse through the holiday season.  I couldn’t even THINK of going to the gym- it was not only painful, but it was impossible to do any sort of class.  This may be TMI- but by Christmas I couldn’t hardly get on or off the damned toilet!  The pain was about 25 on a scale of 1-10, and the “hinge” movement that lifts you out of a chair wouldn’t even work.  If there wasn’t a handicapped stall in a bathroom I was a gonner!  At least with the handicapped bathroom I could pull myself up on the metal handrails!

Not only was I in pain, and nearly immobile, but then I started feeling like I was getting whacked in the knee with a metal club when I walked.  That was excruciating!  And it was causing me to stumble and fall. Very attractive I must say.

Dancing is my “Drug of Choice

(When you click on the link above, you’ll see a video of Don & I dancing at Kingston Mines in Chicago this past June.  My daughter shot this unknown to me at the time.  Not the best lit video, but just a typical night dancing for my man and I!)

Anyone who knows me, knows that my “drug of choice” is dancing.  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that if you are barely ambulatory, you aren’t doing too damned much dancing!  So, I was quickly becoming an unhappy girl!

Do you know that when your knees don’t work, you’re almost unable to get up from any restaurant table?  Few restaurant chairs have arms, and most tables only have a center support pedestal, which makes leaning on the table for leverage impossible.  The whole situation is far less than sexy and attractive, I have to say! It was a struggle every time I went anywhere. I quickly developed a keen sense of empathy for anyone going through physical challenges!

Let me tell you, I definitely have new found respect for people with knee issues.

I went to the Dr., got a check up and x-rays, only to be told I had arthritis, and would probably be needing a knee replacement STAT!  GREAT NEWS!  Just what I wanted to hear! Part of me felt like- do it now and let me get it over with, and the bigger part of me said “HELL NO!”

I refused to just take the word of a western medicine Dr, and decided to do all a could to get my knees back to as normal as possible, before resorting to letting someone take a saw and cut out the supporting members of my legs!

Another deciding factor on dealing with our “western medicine” practitioners came after I scheduled an appointment with an orthopedic specialist.  Let’s just leave it at this— after waiting a combined time in both the waiting and exam room of about an hour and a half, I left, never seeing the Dr.  I could hear him visiting with the patient in the next room for 45 minutes, discussing the holidays, family vacations, work, their favorite ski resorts, blah, blah, blah.  I called to the assistant, and explained that I worked, and this was the middle of my work day, but no one seemed to care about me as a person, or as a patient……… I decided I deserved better treatment than this Dr. could provide, and left.

That is when I started doing a little research. I looked into stem cell therapies a bit.  Hard to decipher what is legit there, and what was “snake oil” in the stem cell field. I couldn’t get enough “real data” to figure out what was what with the stem-cell choices.

Tart Cherry Juice Was My Lifesaver!

I started looking into supplements, and started taking a few things.  The one that sounded the least like it would help came from a helpful neighbor.  He suggested I drink Tart Cherry Juice.  It had helped him considerably a few years ago, when he thought he was in line for a knee replacement.  I’ll be damned!  Of all the things I tried (and I’ll share what they were), this is the one that I felt had the greatest impact.  Within about 4 days I saw CONSIDERABLE improvement!  The Cherry Juice helps with inflammation.  It tastes great, and it’s fairly inexpensive, so there is no down side that I can see! (An interesting side effect, is that I was experiencing TMJ symptoms, and realized a week or so after starting on the Cherry Juice, that my TMJ had also diminished to almost nothing.

I also started taking Hyaluronic Acid in a gummy form.  I don’t know if that has had any impact, but for about $30.00 per month, I’m not taking the chance of stopping it!  Besides that, the brand I take tastes really good, and looks pretty cute, so it’s like a free “treat” every day, that I can totally justify!

Pain Free Knees are Happy Knees!

Look Into “Alternative” Solutions! They Just Might Work!

I have two other, slightly pricier things which I tried, and, and believe helped to get me beyond my pain.  I was recommended  a “sports medicine” guy, Ryu Kawajiri at Body Craft in San Diego, and he gave me a combination of exercises, manipulation and a machine he used on me.  The machine is an acuscope. The theory behind the acuscope is that it applies low voltage micro-currents to reduce pain by stimulating the nervous system of the body. It detects the abnormal electrical tissue responses and adjust its own response to produce a balancing effect.  You don’t feel anything  when you are hooked up to the machine, you just lay on the massage type table, and relax.  Some of the manipulation of the muscles that he did was a little uncomfortable, but not too much.

The most interesting thing about this treatment, is that Ryu had informed me my biggest issue, and why my knees were hurting is that I breathe wrong, have too tight of muscles in part of my legs, and not enough in others (hello high heels) and my core was too weak. The exercises he has me do build up my weak areas, and the core, so that I am walking correctly.  Who knew you could breath wrong?  You are supposed to breath in through and out with your stomach, and your shoulders shouldn’t move at all…….. go figure!  So, I am now lying around in strange positions, breathing in and out through a balloon……. And feeling SO much better!  My treatments started out as once a week, but very quickly were spread out to a few weeks apart.  After only a handful of treatments, Ryu informed me that I didn’t need to come back, unless I started experiencing some discomfort again. Was it  worth it?  Damn right it was!  I can see the difference! I am still doing my breathing and stretching exercises, because I never want to go back to the pain I had.

The last major part of my therapy has been Bowen work with another amazing healer, Sharon Edmiston. How or why this therapy works is beyond me, but, once again, it DOES work and that is all I care about.  After discussing what is going on with your body and your life, fully clothed you get on a massage table.  My practitioner comes in and touches you very lightly in a few places, walks out for a few minutes, and then repeats the same process on a different part of your body.  I can’t figure it out, but then, do I really need to?  All I know is that it is helping, and for the little it costs it is well worth the expense.

I’ve done a few other minimal things, such as making bone broth and drinking it occasionally.  But just occasionally, like when I have a chicken in the house to do so!

Real Time Pain Relief has been the best product I could imagine finding for my knee pain!

Pain Relief in A Cream!

I went to a health fair and went by a booth with some “pain creme.” I stopped to talk to the woman at the booth, she asked if I had any pain, and I mentioned my knee problem.  She sat me right down, began to rub the pain creme in, and I walked away a few minutes later.  Believe me, I returned about 10 minutes later and bought the largest bottle of it she had!  I couldn’t believe how much better my knees felt, almost immediately.  I am still using Real Time Pain Relief daily!  It relieves pain, not only in my knees, but in my feet and legs when I need to stand for long periods of time.  I like it SO much, and turned so many of my friends on to it, that I actually became a vendor for it. I’ve tried other topical cremes, but none can TOUCH this stuff!  It’s effective, it’s made from natural ingredients, and you don’t smell like your grandmother when you use it!

My Arthritic Knees Are Restored!

I don’t believe it’s been any one thing that has turned my knees around, but in about 3 months I was back to about 90% normal in one knee, 95% normal In the other.  I have actually, almost completely, had my Arthritic Knees Restored! It certainly beats the alternative, I have to say that!  I know that if my knees had continued along the path they were taking, I’d probably already have had at least one knee replacement by now..  No doubt in my mind!  I’d have had months more of pain, and then the surgery and recovery period.

My dancing would have stopped completely months ago, and it would be many more months before I could have looked forward to dancing again.  I’m not so sure my personal psyche could have dealt with that outcome!

Instead, by taking my own destiny in my hands, exploring alternative procedures, and being willing to put a little of my own money on the line, I am almost completely “back to normal.”  OK, that’s a lie.  I’ll never be normal, but the use of my knees is back to where almost where they were last fall when this started!  I have a bit of stiffness in my left knee some days, but that is it!

You CAN Take Control of Your Health!

You CAN take control of your health, I have no doubt about it.  I’m not some sort of crazy over-the-top health fiend.  My diet is fair to good, on a good day.  I enjoy my foo-foo martinis whenever I entertain, I have my fair share of desserts.  BUT, by doing a few special exercises and drinking my Tart Cherry Juice, my life has been given back to me.

Research  your alternatives before simply taking the word of Western medicine doctors!  Take a few minutes on Google to see if there is an alternative to the medications, surgeries and  the extremes  the Western doctors want to give you!  You may find a natural way around your problem.

If your insurance doesn’t pay for a procedure, consider what the “cost” really is to you.  One of my procedures is about $100.00 each time I go.  Another $50.00.  However, I can cut back on a few frivolities to make it affordable. AND, I had to look at what the cost was if I went the other way?  Unproductivity due to pain.  The inability to do what I love in life.  The time that I would have been out of work if I had a surgery and needed to recover…………..  A bit of money out of my pocket FAR outweighed the alternative.

Put Yourself First!

Put yourself first when t comes to your health.  DON’T just take the word of the first professional who tells you what is going to happen with your health. Talk to people who might know alternative methods, and be open and willing to try something new.  After all, do you really want to be put on medications, and have your body cut open?  Do you really want fake body parts, which are going to eventually wear out again, put inside of you?  Aren’t you worth taking the time to find the very BEST FOR YOU?  I am, and I did!

A great example of WHY taking the time, putting out the money and making the effort to get my knees better happened about a week ago.  My grand daughter Nell was in town, and we did a “girls day” at the water park.  I wasn’t sure how many of the big water slides I’d be able to do.  If you’ve ever been to one of those water parks, you know, the water slides entail, literally, hundreds of stairs to get up to them.  Stairs seem to aggravate my knees more than ANYTHING!  If I’m going to feel pain, it’s on stairs.  Guess what?  We were there from 10 AM until they closed at 6, and I conquered every slide in the place, WITHOUT A TWITCH OF PAIN!  I couldn’t stand the 3 stairs into my house over Christmas, without almost crying, or literally having to have help into and out of the house!

This is where you play the old Frank Sinatra song…….. “I Did It My Way!”

 

Ta Ta for the Titties, Too Much for Me!

Comedy, Fabulous After 50, My Humble Opinion, Raves & Rotten Reviews, styles, Uncategorized, You Can't Make This Shit Up!

TaDa for the TaTa’s…..

I don’t care what kind of sweat be a drippin’ down your boobs. No one needs to look like this!

So here I am, just strolling through Facebook. The first “down time” I’ve had in almost 2 weeks, and I thought I’d check out what is going on in the world of my Facebook friends, when suddenly I come across this ad for the Ta Ta Towel.  I had to stop, take a gander, then look into this further.

Uh, no. Not for me. So sorry!

If you aren’t yet familiar with the Ta Ta Towel, it is basically a hammock, made out of a towel to hang your titties in. In other words, an “Over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder.”  (That’s what I would have called this invention, if, indeed, I had invented it….. which I didn’t, because I didn’t know there was even a need for it.)  Evidently, a number of big breasted women seem to sweat under their boobs while getting themselves ready to go out into the world for the day.  Hence, the “Ta Ta Towel” was invented. It is described on their sites as “The perfect accessory to any set of boobs.” I prefer a diamond necklace as my boobs perfect little accessory.  Call me a snob.

No one should be going out in public like this. Sorry! If you wonder why you can’t get a date, maybe it’s because you are out in clothing that just wouldn’t flatter ANYONE! Not to mention, those titties are gonna go a floppin’ out, you can just about count on that!

Solutions for Sweaty Boobs

Perhaps I’m a skeptic, and perhaps it’s because my rather ample boobs don’t seem to have this weeping sweatage problem…….. but did anyone ever think of a simple little robe?  I have a cute little leopard number, which is nice and cool in our oh-so-hot summer weather, and I throw that on when I’m getting ready for the day. (Unless the weather is cool, then I throw on a warmer robe. But in either case, I don’t need a special over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder.)  My simple little robe seems to do the trick for me.

I did a little further research on the Ta Ta, and found they have a facebook page, a number of “reviews” on the item, and, evidently, some different colors and patterns that the Ta Ta might be ordered in.

I’m a Sucker, I’ll Admit It!

I’ll admit, I’m usually a sucker for everything that comes my way, and promises to solve a problem.  I’ve tried the “Skinny Coffee.”  About $30.00 later, and a few weeks of coffee that had some suspect white specs in it later…… not an ounce was lost. I also fell prey to the curlers that promised to give me ringlet type of curls fast and easy……. wait for the video on this one folks.  You’ll be glad you did. (As soon as I figure out how the hell to make said video).  The black mud looking mask……… don’t ask.

This time, however, I did not fall prey to ordering the Over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder.  Why you may ask?  When even the model looks frumpy and dumpy in it, I know that no one in my house, including me, needs to see this shit.  In addition, they retail for $45.00!  Are they kidding me?  Come on. REALLY Ta Ta?  Had this thing been $10.00, maybe even $15.00, I would have been tempted to buy one, just for shits and giggles, and to share with the likes of you who read this blog.  But seriously?  $45.00?  Holy crap!  I am in itinerant “second hand” shopper.  My nicest dresses and evening gowns don’t even cost me $45.00!  Am I going to buy a boob sweat sopper and spend that much?  Not on your life Sam! No way!  I could buy at least 4 or 5 new dresses for that amount of money, and they are going to be one HELL of a lot more fun and flattering than this gizmo!

I suppose I could do a “Go Fund Me” page, so that people could contribute to me purchasing the Ta Ta, but I’m saving that route for something really big and important, like a face lift or tummy tuck sometime down the line.  You’ve got to plan these things out to get the most “bang for your buck” you know!

Ta Ta Towel s just not me!

I have to say, the Ta Ta Towel just doesn’t speak to me! Just give me a little “seasonal” robe! Cozy in the winter, cool in the summer! Is it too much work to try to look a bit reasonable, even at home?

Meanwhile, I’ll just use one of my cute little robes to hold the boulders while I’m getting ready for the day. And thank my lucky little stars that my boobs don’t sweat.  Life is good here at the Queen’s castle!

If you think that you just can’t live without a Ta Ta Towel, here is a bit more information on this nifty invention!

Blueberry Lemon Drop Martini

Cocktail Time, Entertaining, Fabulous After 50, Uncategorized
Blueberry Lemondrop Martinis

Delicious & refreshing Blueberry Lemon Drop Martinis are perfect for summer! (I’m pretty sure we could claim some healthy “antioxidant” benefits here as well, if it makes you feel better!

Blueberry Lemon Drop Martinis

As many of you know, I’m known for my signature martinis at each event I hold.  I am always trying to come up with something new and different.  I created this one a few months ago for my bunko girls, and believe me- the Blueberry Lemon Drop was a definite hit!

I came up with the idea when I came across Blueberry Puree at Bev-Mo.  I thought it could create a delicious drink, easily, and I was right!  (Of course, I’m right most of the time, after all!  I AM the Queen!)

Martini Drinking in Lake Geneva, Wis.!

This was a great little martini I discovered in Lake Geneva, Wis. on our trip there earlier this summer. Check out the Maxwell Mansion if you need a fabulous little place to stay sometime! BTW- Isn’t my man just the cutest thing in the world?

 DIRECTIONS:

In a small sandwich sized zip-lock bag Mix superfine sugar with a few drops of yellow food coloring, and a few drops of Orange or lemon flavoring- until sugar is a consistent color and flavoring is mixed in. Pour into a plate.  You may skip this step if desired, and just use plain sugar.

Slice lemons  into wedges, to run around the rims of your glasses.  Use Lemon wedges to moisten edge of glasses, and dip into your colored sugar mixture.  This can be done before your event, so you don’t have to take time once your guests arrive.

I garnish these martinis by simply putting 3 blueberries in the bottom of each martini glass.  You could also put the blueberries on drink toothpicks if you want to fancy it up a bit.  I personally like the blueberries floating in the glass.

 

2 parts vodka (put in freezer for a day or two before event to get as cold as possible)

1 part lemonade

½ part sweet & sour bar mix (pre-chill)

½ part blueberry puree (you can find in stores such as Bev-mo pre made, or puree your own blueberries with simple syrup)

¼ part simple syrup

Put all ingredients into a shaker, pour into sugared martini glasses and garnish with the blueberries.

The Watermelon Crawl Martini

Cocktail Time, Entertaining, Fabulous After 50, Uncategorized

The Watermelon Crawl Martini

If you aren’t into country music, you may not be familiar with the song, “The Watermelon Crawl.”

Too many martinis of any kind, and that is JUST what will happen!  You’ll end up crawling!  I don’t make my martinis very strong.  I don’t want to take a chance that anyone will have an issue on my watch!  These look pretty on a summer evening, and go down very smoothly!

Watermelon Crawl Martini

The Watermelon Crawl Martini, at our “Picnic Themed” Bunko night.

Watermelon Crawl Martini Recipe

2 – 3 Parts Fresh Watermelon Juice

3 parts Watermelon Vodka (I like to store my vodka in the freezer before using)

1 part Triple Sec

1 part Malibu Rum (Chill in Freezer)

2 parts pink lemonade

***  Watermelon Juice 0r Watermelon Puree (Personally, I simply puree the watermelon in a blender). A neighbor of mine found watermelon juice at Costco, which would also work well.)

Put ice into martini shaker, then add ingredients.  Shake and pour into martini glasses.  Garnish with a small watermelon wedge, or strawberries.

You may sugar the rim before serving if you desire.  I add  red food coloring to the sugar, to make it pink.

This drink can also be made in pitchers, and served in tall glasses or mason jars over ice for a more casual event such as a picnic.

It is refreshing and delicious, I must say!

 

Watermelon crawl martini

Here I am enjoying The Watermelon Crawl Martini at our June Bunko Game! We had a picnic theme, so what could be better? Notice my special “queen” martini glass? Also, my necklace says “The Queen of Damn Near Everything”- proving, once again, that I AM!

Luscious Lemon Drop Martini

Cocktail Time, Fabulous After 50, Raves & Rotten Reviews, Travel and Adventure
A Lemondrop, fit for a Queen!

This lemon drop is the best you’ll ever find! Fit for a queen!

Luscious Lemon Drop Martinis

Last fall I went on a cruise with girlfriends. The cruise was with Norwegian on the Getaway.  One of the bartenders prepared a lemon drop martini that was SO delicious. We would see this bartender every time we wanted a drink…  Seriously, we would traverse up and down from different floors, and from one end of the ship to the other, just to go to his bar to have him make them for us!  I watched what he did, and adapted this recipe from his example. The golden honey color of these lemon drop martinis will let your guests know that this drink is something different from the usual pale and tart ho-hum lemon drop!

W Our bartender on the NCL Getaway, mixing his delicious lemon drop martinis. He took such pride in what he did, and seemed so pleased when we came to see him each evening!

Luscious Lemon Drop Martini Recipe

In a small sandwich sized zip-lock bag mix superfine sugar with a few drops of yellow food coloring, and a few drops of Orange or lemon flavoring until sugar is a consistent color and flavoring is mixed in. Pour into a plate. (After my event, I put leftover sugar into a zip lock bag and use at my next event.)

Slice lemons some in wedges, to run around the rims of your glasses.  Others in round slices to use as a garnish on the glass.

Use Lemon wedges to moisten edge of glasses, and dip into your colored sugar mixture.  This can be done before your event, so you don’t have to take time once your guests arrive.

 

2 parts lemon flavored vodka (put in freezer for a day or two before event to get as cold as possible)

1 part lemonade

¼ part orange juice

½ part sweet & sour bar mix (pre-chill)

¼ part simple syrup

Put all ingredients into a shaker, pour into sugared martini glasses and garnish with a lemon slice.

Girls Just Wanna’ Have Fun!

Lemondrop martinis

My niece, Kelly and me, enjoying one of our lemon drop martinis on our cruise.

You Can’t Always Trust “BOB”

Comedy, Fabulous After 50, Mimsy Whimsy, Serious Shit, Sexuality, Sexy After 60!, Uncategorized, You Can't Make This Shit Up!
Spying Vibrator

Spying Vibrator! Watch out ladies!

You can’t always trust BOB  (Battery Operated Boyfriend)

A friend of mine mentioned to me that she doesn’t need a boyfriend.  She already has BOB.  BOB it seems, is a battery operated boyfriend.  (For those of you who are really slow, this is a vibrator.)  I thought that a great play on words.  After all, men can let you down, but BOB won’t.  Right???

Wrong!  It turns out that not only could BOB let you down, but he could severely disappoint you.  Make you feel the fool.  Use and abuse you!  You might wonder how in the world THAT could be possible?

The big story broke in the news mid-March.  Evidently, the company who makes a vibrator known as the We-Vibe got caught spying on their buyers’ personal vibrator use!  Yep, that’s right people!  You could buy this vibrator, and then download an app which allowed it to be turned on through your smart phone remotely or whatever you wanted…..

Let’s recap this.  If you haven’t seen this vibrator, it’s a little c-shaped number, that I guess clamps right into the ol’ vagina and on your clit.  So, I’m not understanding this.  Are women walking around with this thing, and just for shits and giggles the hubby hits the on button from his smart phone while he’s busting it out earning a buck at the office?  I’m pretty damn forward thinking sexually, but this whole thing just isn’t making sense to me…..Maybe one of you who read this blog will fill me in, because I’m a bit mystified here. Truly I am….. I just can’t imagine that I’m going to spend my day hooked up to my little We vibrator………  I mean, wouldn’t it just want to fall out?  Now THAT could be an embarrassing moment in your day.

Clit-Gate… Someone’s Watching!

So, as the story goes, the folks that be, at We Vibe’s parent company, Standard Innovation, went into the records of all the sexually active users, to determine how long and at what frequency said customers used their little sex toys. You could think of this as “Clit-Gate.” The app was called We-Connect.  I guess that people didn’t realize that the WE who would be connecting was going to be the manufacturer, checking in on YOUR vagina! This is worse than the spying Russians! Worse than the spying microwaves!  These spys are right in your bedroom, and hooked up to your Va- Jay-Jay!  It doesn’t get any more personal than this!  The only spy I’ve know who was this intimate was James Bond, and he had to at least don a tuxedo and talk his way into a ladies bedroom before he turned on the “spy mode!”

You’ve Can’t Trust These New-fangled inventions!

Interesting Data Research Project…

Now THAT must have been some interesting data research going on there!  Can’t you see it?  “Hey boss, Mary Smith in Wasco, Illinois uses her vibrator 8 times a day, for an average of 16 minutes each time.  Do you think I could google her, and give her a call?  I’m all about helping out a girl in need!”

So, however the beans got spilled, the powers that be found out that women’s clits all over the United States were being spied on, without their knowledge, and it resulted in a HUGE settlement from the sex toy manufacturer.

A New Meaning to The Phrase “Your Money-Maker”

In fact, if it turns out that you are one of the people who downloaded this app, it was worth a whopping $10000.00 to you!  Holy Shit!  I’d have bought one of these puppies had I known I could use the money maker to make this kind of money!

And if it turns out that you bought the We-vibe, but didn’t download the app, so your sweetie could turn you on remotely?  Still worth $199.00 buck-a-roos.  Not bad. I guess it’s about the amount these things cost when you purchased them, so they are paying you back for their fuck up.  Good deal, you can still use the original We-Vibe, and visit the sex store to buy some new sex enhancing items.

Just watch what you download on them, you never know who might be watching!  Just in case you think I might make this shit up- here is an article to prove that I am a girl of my word! Google and you will find numerous other articles discussing the lawsuit.  Interesting reading, for those nights you don’t have BOB to entertain you……

Meanwhile,  I think I’ll just stick with the good ol’ fashioned boyfriend that I have at home, and forget the new fangled, remote controlled BOB!

Afternote on this blog.  I looked up to see how you are supposed to use this wonder of sexuality.  It turns out, the “spy factory” produced a film.  If you want a REAL laugh, I’d suggest you watch the “how to” film.  The use of this object is only more mystifying to me at this point.  Between the petting the couple are doing to each other, and the hand used to exemplify a woman’s vagina……. I am thoroughly confused.  And Amused…….. (We-Vibe How To Video)

And To All, A Good Night!

Cocktail Time, Events, Fabulous After 50, Sexy After 60!, Uncategorized

Blog Launch Party Recap!

Don & Patti

My man, Don, always so supportive of my endeavors! Notice, the “signature cocktail” provided by our venue, Green Dragon Tavern!

My two “besties”- Stella & Linda, worked like bees helping me to make the whole event a success!

The official Queen of Damn Near Everything Blog Launch Party took place Thursday evening, May 11th. I think I can say with absolute certainty, a Good Night was had by all who attended!

It was a fun filled event, held at the Green Dragon Tavern & Museum in Carlsbad. They let us use the upper bar area, which was very spacious and lovely.  Our servers took great care of us, and the food was all delicious!  I told their event coordinator, Kelsy that I am known for a signature martini at all my events, so they created “The Queens Cocktail” just for our event, and were even so gracious as to give us happy hour pricing on them!  Yummy Blood Orange Martinis, which were out of this world.  How can you beat that? (The added benefit, of COURSE, was knowing that we were all getting our vitamin C from the fresh orange puree!  I do what I can for the healt of my friends!)

Sparkley Crown Cookies by JuJuBee’s Desserts

Did Someone Say Shopping?

Purses, Jewelry and Tiaras!

A girl can’t have too much bling!

I think she is SHOCKED at the great prices!

Every girl needs to have a tiara, or two, or more!

This was not just the launch for my blog, but also the debut of my new line of jewelry, purses and tiaras!  My line is called The Crown Jewels, and quite a large number of ladies enjoyed shopping amidst the eating and revelry!

The Queen, telling a bit about the blog, and upcoming events

There were a few VERY lucky ladies at the event!  I had a lot of raffle prizes, and as always seems to happen, a few of the ladies proved to be VERY LUCKY that evening.  Sandy Rau and Wendy Rippee each won 3 raffle gifts.  Judee Tieger won 2!

Judee Tieger, who owns JuJuBee’s Desserts provided beautiful pink sparkley crown cookies with my logo on them. The kicker was the huge pewter 3 tiered tray she brought to serve them on!  It was, indeed regal!

Friends, You Can’t Beat ‘Em!

Vicki, Wendy & Stella

Patti & Kathe- a talented professional who produces her own podcast. Our regal cookies in the background!

The attendees proved to be a diverse crowd!  Friends from my Good Ol’ Gals networking group, my Lakeshore Gardens neighbors, friends I’ve known through business, my besties, my daughter and my many, friends of friends and more.  I truly appreciated the support and love felt in the room!

Girls Just Wanna’ Have Fun!

Barb- holding court it seems!

My daughter, Alyse (on the right) and her friend since birth, Kaitlin. (She’s my daughter from another mother!) Even the youngin’s were in attendance!

Marianne, Patti & BJ

Nancy, so sweet to come to my event!

Stella is always “Miss photgenic!” Don’t we all have one of THOSE friends????

Eloise- Yes, there will probably be swearing involved! Sorry love!

We did a survey to assess what future events the ladies might like, so some of those adventures are in the works right now!

Last, but certainly not least, Don, who was our official event photographer!

Stay tuned to see what comes up!  You won’t want to miss the action!

Blog Launch Party is Almost Here!

Cocktail Time, Entertaining, Events, Fabulous After 50, Sexy After 60!, Uncategorized
The Queen of Damn Near Everything!

Patti Phillips, The Queen of Damn Near Everything!

The “Big Day” is almost here!  This Thursday, May 11th is our “The Queen of Damn Near Everything” blog launch party!  This is going to be a fantastic event!

Where Is It?

The Green Dragon Tavern & Museum, 6115 Paseo Del Norte, Carlsbad, CA

When Is It?

Thursday, May 11th

4:30-6:30 PM

What Is It?

What in the world is going to happen at this spectacularly fun event you may ask?

I’m a gonna tell you right here! Fun! That’s what!  We will be having appetizers (which are included with your $12.00 ticket price), no host drinks, LOTS of great raffles to amazing things like massages, facials, museum tickets, gift cards, cute shit, free stuff and more! There is also going to be a chance to shop, (and who doesn’t LOVE to shop!

Shop for WHAT you may ask?  Bling.  Pure Bling.  Blingy purses, tiaras, jewelry, hair art. So, if you are lacking in BLING at your house, bring your wallet.  Bring your credit card.  DON’T bring your first born.  I don’t want them.  I have enough of my own……

What Should I Know About It?

What else do you need to know about the day, you might just ask?  Well, you CAN bring a friend, two friends, 16 friends………… They will have fun, and you’ll be my hero.

HOWEVER, if you could take a little minute or two to let me know they are coming, that would be most helpful.  We DO want to have enough of the afore mentioned food on hand, after all…

RSVP’s for the event, prepaid is nice.  Prepaid is only $12.00.  At the door is $15.00.  For the difference you’ll pay, you can almost buy a drink.  Or a pair of cute earrings. Or a mini tiara.  Get your priorities right sister.  These things add up!

You might be asking if MEN can attend.  Yes, men can attend.  They are going to be scarce, but there are a few planning on it.  One very smart single man is planning to attend.  He’s a SMART single man!  I know HIS ulterior motive!

The REALLY Important Stuff…..

Now this is the REALLY important stuff.  To win more great stuff, your chances are much greater when you have more tickets in the raffle… DUH!  How do you get more raffle tickets, so that you might enjoy a massage, a facial, pampering, dinner out at a restaurant?  SUBSCRIBE TO MY BLOG before the event.

Upon check in you’ll get 5 EXTRA RAFFLE TICKETS! Bring a friend (who isn’t already on my email list) and you’ll get 5 MORE RAFFLE TICKETS! Imagine all of the great items you will win!

Or, you can purchase raffle tickets at the event……. In any case, you will be having a fantastic time, you’ll meet new friends and business advocates, you’ll be eating scrumptious  food AND you will weigh in on upcoming events that the Queen of Damn Near Everything will be putting on in months to come!

To sign up, go to my  Eventbrite page, and sign up NOW, or contact me personally and I can take your cash or credit card!

YOU WON’T WANT TO MISS THIS GREAT EVENING!