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Entertaining

The Comedy Queen – LIVE!

Cocktail Time, Comedy, Entertaining, Events, Productions & Concerts

I have a show coming up, and it is sure to be sold out, so don’t wait!  Get your tickets now!  Only a few tickets left!

Contact me NOW to join the fun!

I give a 100% money back guarantee that I will make you laugh!  (And by the way – if you DON’T laugh, get yourself checked out, you just may be DEAD and they forgot to bury you!

Don’t miss out on the fun! This great new restaurant will be a fantastic venue for fun!

Emily Post is Dead…..

Entertaining, My Humble Opinion, Royal Ramblings!, Uncategorized

Whatever happened to Emily Post?  Back in the day- (and I realize “the day” was a while back, and things have changed) society lived by a set of rules, known as etiquette.  The rules for how we conducted ourselves was large. About 2 or 3 inches thick as I recall.  There were details in it that didn’t really make a rats ass of difference in most people’s lives.  How to properly seat people at a dinner party.  Leaving a calling card when visiting.  When and how to use obscure pieces of flatware.  Those things probably won’t change our lives, at least life in todays’ society one bit.

But, there are still some rules of etiquette that SHOULD and could be implemented.

I probably entertain more than any 10 women put together. And I am amazed each and every time that an invitation goes out, just how rude people can be. (Sorry, just have to call it like it is!) I do realize that many people don’t entertain in their homes, and may not realize the amount of work that goes into it. Perhaps THAT is the excuse.  WHATEVER the excuse, I’d like to share a few easy rules for being a guest in someone’s home, which just may get you invited back.

  1. RSVP.

Just take the time to RSVP for the love of God!  It’s not that difficult!  I absolutely can’t believe the people who never respond in any way.  No yes, no no, no maybe!  Come on people!  If you don’t want to go, can’t stand the host, would rather pull lint out of your belly-button, or lice off of your significant other-  JUST LET THE PERSON WHO ASKED YOU KNOW YOU WON’T BE THERE.  No. A simple no.  Nowadays, other than a wedding invitation, most of your invitations can be responded to via email, response to evite, or via text.  JUST TAKE A FRICKIN’ MINUTE TO LET THE HOST OR HOSTESS KNOW YOUR INTENTIONS!

The “Maybe” response……. I understand the Maybe response- if your daughter is due to give birth sometime the 3rd week of January, so your response is “As long as we aren’t on our way to Nebraska, due to Janie’s impending birth.” That’s a good reason for a maybe.  Absolutely.  It’s the “maybe’s” that make the hostess feel like you are just waiting to see if something better comes up which really piss me off.  Look, if you can’t give a definite YES, I’d like to be there, because you really DON’T want to be there, give a resounding NO, and move on. If you have to see what your work schedule is, and they don’t let you know until the Tuesday of the event…… OK on that.  But just maybe, a maybe that, once again looks like you are waiting to see if possibly Angelina Jolie is going to invite you over for drinks, but… if she doesn’t, you might show up are rude….. just plain rude…..

I think that California is particularly prone to this. Everyone wants to wait until the last moment to commit, fearing they might miss something better.  As Bon Qui Qui would say. RUDE!

I recently had a big party for my 60th birthday.  I rented a room, had a band, and had it catered.  I BEGGED people, via Evite to just let me know whether or not they were coming.  In the end, there were 60 people who never responded one way or the other.  That could be up to 120 people who may- or may not be there.  Kind of a BIG difference when you are paying to cater something.

I entertain enough to know what the average response rate is, and I had my numbers within 5 people of who actually DID attend. But SERIOUSLY?  If I didn’t entertain on almost a weekly basis, I wouldn’t have had any idea how many people to tell the caterer to plan on.

2. HOSTESS GIFTS

A girl can only use SO much wine!

I think it is really thoughtful when people bring a hostess gift for the hostess.  You definitely deserve Kudos for the thoughtfulness.  Can I give you a hint on what NOT to bring for said hostess gift.  2 items I suggest you forget about bringing to a hostess. (Keep in mind- I’m the girl who has held about 10 events in the past 3 months).  PLEASE, rethink the bottle of wine, and cut flowers.  At one of my housewarming parties a few years ago I received over 30 bottles of wine.  As a single woman who rarely drinks wine, and then, only white wine ( and, I’ll admit it- shit white wine at that), there was not a chance I was going to ever drink that much wine, not to mention, be able to store it.  Can I just say…… IT IS UNIMAGINATIVE!  It’s boring.  It’s the easy way out, and most likely, it’s wine some other unimaginative, boring person gave YOU!  Come up with something that the hostess might really be able to use.  It’s simple. It’s more fun.  And it says you really care.

The other item to stop bringing…… cut flowers that need to be put in a vase.  The last thing in the world a hostess has time to do when a slew of people are walking in her door is figure out where a damned vase that will fit your flowers is! AND, if her cupboard where vases are stored is where my vase cupboard has been in all my previous homes, it is 6 feet up, above the oven, and they are stacked in there in such a way that opening it may be life threatening.  DON’T DO THIS TO THE WOMAN WHO JUST MADE YOU A MEAL!  Either bring a plant that is in a ready-to-go container, a flowering plant or flowers in a vase.  Don’t add stress to the woman who just put this event together. It’s stressful to figure out what to do with a bouquet of flowers when so much is going on!

A potted plant is a great gift! A hostess doesn’t have to find a vase, take time to arrange it, and can plop it down and carry on!

You might wonder, what in the world you are supposed to being a hostess if not wine and flowers? Bring something seasonal.  An ornament or decoration if it’s the holiday season.  A pretty fall accessory. An orchid or other flowering plant which can be set down and dealt with later.  If you know the hostess has a passion for something, bring something that speaks to that.  A friend recently brought the cutest little mug set to a party I gave. One said “The Queen of Damn Near Everything.”  The other “The King of Whatever’s Left.” Something for both Don and I, that said she’d thought about it!  Another friend brought a lovely orchid.  For about 8 weeks, I had blooms that made me think of her. Neither cost more that most bottles of wine, I’m sure! But they spoke volumes to me when I received them.

This was a hostess gift that showed me the giver KNEW me, and took time to bring something fitting my tastes and quirks!

3. DON’T BRING A GUEST WITHOUT TELLING THE HOST

I am probably the most “more the merrier” person in the world.  Unless I’m putting on an event that can only have a specific number of people for a good reason, I always say “bring whoever you want.”  HOWEVER, if you do that, can you PLEASE clue the hostess in that someone she may not know will be arriving?

On more than one occasion I have been in my home at a party and see someone I don’t know, enjoying food and drink.  It is very awkward to walk up to a person in your home, and inquire who they are, and how they got there!  It’s really not that tough to clue the hostess in that you have brought a friend, and introduce you, or to tell her your friend may be stopping by. COME ON PEOPLE- should we have to tell you this shit?

4. DON’T WHINE IF YOU AREN’T INVITED TO SOMETHING.

As a host or hostess, we can’t invite ALL of the people ALL of the time.  I have had numerous occasions where, at a smaller gathering I haven’t invited someone that might come to other gatherings I have.  When you are having a sit-down luncheon for example, only a certain number of people can fit at the table.

DON’T BE THE PERSON WHO GETS ALL BUTT HURT BECAUSE YOU WEREN’T INVITED!

I can’t begin to tell you the many times I’ve seen people getting all up in arms because someone had an event and they weren’t invited to go!  GET OVER IT!  We aren’t in 3rd grade.  We can’t always invite every damned person we know, AND….. I’ll bet those of you who get all butt hurt NEVER INVITE THOSE SAME PEOPLE TO YOUR HOUSE! It’s always the ones who want to be invited to every damned thing who never invite others to their house! They typically don’t entertain, yet they WANT to be entertained!

Take a look at your social skills people!  Are you being a good guest?  Taking time to RSVP? Inviting your favorite hostess to your house now and then? Remember your mother’s old saying, “To have a good friend you need to BE a good friend!”

We are all adults here.  Let’s look back at some of Emily Posts rules, and take a bit of time to follow some of them.  You will be glad you did!  (And so will the hostess who invited you!)

Queen for a Day Retreat is Coming!

Adventures With Attitude!, Cocktail Time, Entertaining, Events, Fabulous After 50, Health = Happiness!, Networking Event, Sexy After 60!, You Can't Make This Shit Up!

The first “Queen for a Day” retreat is coming soon, and you won’t want to miss this!

The theme is “Learn to Live Like Royalty.” February 24th 9:30-4:00 with an optional “Happy Hour” afterwards! All of the needed details are on the flyer above.

Speakers, Delicious food catered by Etoufee’ Cafe on Wheels, Spa Treatments, Vision Boarding and more- all geared toward YOU and you creating a life you love! There will be raffles, give-aways and swag bags worth over $50.00 for each woman attending!

This day is going to be more fun than you can shake a stick at! Girlfriends galore, and more information, fun and fabulous-ness than you will EVER be able to stand!

Space will be limited, so sign up now!

If 2018 is the year that you are determined to get your life on track, be more successful and enjoy your life SO much more- then you need to attend this fun filled event!

More details about our fabulous speakers and sponsors will follow soon!  Don’t miss out- get your reservation in soon!

I have places for only 2 sponsors left, so if you’d like to sponsor, contact me NOW! Only $300.00 and you get to bring a friend/colleague, whatever!

Go to eventbrite or contact Patti Phillips to sign up: https://queenforadayretreat.eventbrite.com

800-680-9133

“Tea With the Queen” Networking Event

Cocktail Time, Entertaining, Events, Networking Event

Delicious Home Made Treats, just for you!

Ladies, Are you looking for a fun and different way to network and meet “like minded business women?  Look no further!  I love putting on events for women which are a little bit different than the “lunch or evening in a restaurant” networking.  When you are relaxed and feel “at home” you can connect on a whole different level!  Come and enjoy afternoon tea in my home, which is transformed for the holidays!

Holiday NETWORKING “Tea With the Queen”


Enjoy a beautiful afternoon tea amidst beautiful holiday decorations in a gorgeous Carlsbad home while networking with like-minded women.  Shop for beautiful “bling” too! I have gorgeous handbags, handmade jewelry, hair jewels, tiaras and MORE!  All at “below retail prices.”

After all, why “Network” when you can “Net-FUN!?”

These are some of my fun “treasures” when I had a booth at a recent business seminar.

When:  Monday, December 4th 12:30-3:30

Where: A private Carlsbad Aviara Home (address given once  you register)

What:  Tea, Homemade scones and Lemon Curd, Tea Sandwiches, Dainties, A Signature drink for those who like to “Imbibe” and Shopping for the Crown Jewels and Bling!

$25.00 to attend.  Must preregister.

How:  Go to Eventbrite to register.  Space is VERY limited for this event, so don’t wait! https://christmasteawiththequeen.eventbrite.com

or Contact Patti@TheQueenofDamnNearEverything.com or 619-507-2100

Denim & Silver handbag

This denim, silver and rhinestone handbag goes with everything! Casual to classic!

Blueberry Lemon Drop Martini

Cocktail Time, Entertaining, Fabulous After 50, Uncategorized
Blueberry Lemondrop Martinis

Delicious & refreshing Blueberry Lemon Drop Martinis are perfect for summer! (I’m pretty sure we could claim some healthy “antioxidant” benefits here as well, if it makes you feel better!

Blueberry Lemon Drop Martinis

As many of you know, I’m known for my signature martinis at each event I hold.  I am always trying to come up with something new and different.  I created this one a few months ago for my bunko girls, and believe me- the Blueberry Lemon Drop was a definite hit!

I came up with the idea when I came across Blueberry Puree at Bev-Mo.  I thought it could create a delicious drink, easily, and I was right!  (Of course, I’m right most of the time, after all!  I AM the Queen!)

Martini Drinking in Lake Geneva, Wis.!

This was a great little martini I discovered in Lake Geneva, Wis. on our trip there earlier this summer. Check out the Maxwell Mansion if you need a fabulous little place to stay sometime! BTW- Isn’t my man just the cutest thing in the world?

 DIRECTIONS:

In a small sandwich sized zip-lock bag Mix superfine sugar with a few drops of yellow food coloring, and a few drops of Orange or lemon flavoring- until sugar is a consistent color and flavoring is mixed in. Pour into a plate.  You may skip this step if desired, and just use plain sugar.

Slice lemons  into wedges, to run around the rims of your glasses.  Use Lemon wedges to moisten edge of glasses, and dip into your colored sugar mixture.  This can be done before your event, so you don’t have to take time once your guests arrive.

I garnish these martinis by simply putting 3 blueberries in the bottom of each martini glass.  You could also put the blueberries on drink toothpicks if you want to fancy it up a bit.  I personally like the blueberries floating in the glass.

 

2 parts vodka (put in freezer for a day or two before event to get as cold as possible)

1 part lemonade

½ part sweet & sour bar mix (pre-chill)

½ part blueberry puree (you can find in stores such as Bev-mo pre made, or puree your own blueberries with simple syrup)

¼ part simple syrup

Put all ingredients into a shaker, pour into sugared martini glasses and garnish with the blueberries.

The Watermelon Crawl Martini

Cocktail Time, Entertaining, Fabulous After 50, Uncategorized

The Watermelon Crawl Martini

If you aren’t into country music, you may not be familiar with the song, “The Watermelon Crawl.”

Too many martinis of any kind, and that is JUST what will happen!  You’ll end up crawling!  I don’t make my martinis very strong.  I don’t want to take a chance that anyone will have an issue on my watch!  These look pretty on a summer evening, and go down very smoothly!

Watermelon Crawl Martini

The Watermelon Crawl Martini, at our “Picnic Themed” Bunko night.

Watermelon Crawl Martini Recipe

2 – 3 Parts Fresh Watermelon Juice

3 parts Watermelon Vodka (I like to store my vodka in the freezer before using)

1 part Triple Sec

1 part Malibu Rum (Chill in Freezer)

2 parts pink lemonade

***  Watermelon Juice 0r Watermelon Puree (Personally, I simply puree the watermelon in a blender). A neighbor of mine found watermelon juice at Costco, which would also work well.)

Put ice into martini shaker, then add ingredients.  Shake and pour into martini glasses.  Garnish with a small watermelon wedge, or strawberries.

You may sugar the rim before serving if you desire.  I add  red food coloring to the sugar, to make it pink.

This drink can also be made in pitchers, and served in tall glasses or mason jars over ice for a more casual event such as a picnic.

It is refreshing and delicious, I must say!

 

Watermelon crawl martini

Here I am enjoying The Watermelon Crawl Martini at our June Bunko Game! We had a picnic theme, so what could be better? Notice my special “queen” martini glass? Also, my necklace says “The Queen of Damn Near Everything”- proving, once again, that I AM!

Blog Launch Party is Almost Here!

Cocktail Time, Entertaining, Events, Fabulous After 50, Sexy After 60!, Uncategorized
The Queen of Damn Near Everything!

Patti Phillips, The Queen of Damn Near Everything!

The “Big Day” is almost here!  This Thursday, May 11th is our “The Queen of Damn Near Everything” blog launch party!  This is going to be a fantastic event!

Where Is It?

The Green Dragon Tavern & Museum, 6115 Paseo Del Norte, Carlsbad, CA

When Is It?

Thursday, May 11th

4:30-6:30 PM

What Is It?

What in the world is going to happen at this spectacularly fun event you may ask?

I’m a gonna tell you right here! Fun! That’s what!  We will be having appetizers (which are included with your $12.00 ticket price), no host drinks, LOTS of great raffles to amazing things like massages, facials, museum tickets, gift cards, cute shit, free stuff and more! There is also going to be a chance to shop, (and who doesn’t LOVE to shop!

Shop for WHAT you may ask?  Bling.  Pure Bling.  Blingy purses, tiaras, jewelry, hair art. So, if you are lacking in BLING at your house, bring your wallet.  Bring your credit card.  DON’T bring your first born.  I don’t want them.  I have enough of my own……

What Should I Know About It?

What else do you need to know about the day, you might just ask?  Well, you CAN bring a friend, two friends, 16 friends………… They will have fun, and you’ll be my hero.

HOWEVER, if you could take a little minute or two to let me know they are coming, that would be most helpful.  We DO want to have enough of the afore mentioned food on hand, after all…

RSVP’s for the event, prepaid is nice.  Prepaid is only $12.00.  At the door is $15.00.  For the difference you’ll pay, you can almost buy a drink.  Or a pair of cute earrings. Or a mini tiara.  Get your priorities right sister.  These things add up!

You might be asking if MEN can attend.  Yes, men can attend.  They are going to be scarce, but there are a few planning on it.  One very smart single man is planning to attend.  He’s a SMART single man!  I know HIS ulterior motive!

The REALLY Important Stuff…..

Now this is the REALLY important stuff.  To win more great stuff, your chances are much greater when you have more tickets in the raffle… DUH!  How do you get more raffle tickets, so that you might enjoy a massage, a facial, pampering, dinner out at a restaurant?  SUBSCRIBE TO MY BLOG before the event.

Upon check in you’ll get 5 EXTRA RAFFLE TICKETS! Bring a friend (who isn’t already on my email list) and you’ll get 5 MORE RAFFLE TICKETS! Imagine all of the great items you will win!

Or, you can purchase raffle tickets at the event……. In any case, you will be having a fantastic time, you’ll meet new friends and business advocates, you’ll be eating scrumptious  food AND you will weigh in on upcoming events that the Queen of Damn Near Everything will be putting on in months to come!

To sign up, go to my  Eventbrite page, and sign up NOW, or contact me personally and I can take your cash or credit card!

YOU WON’T WANT TO MISS THIS GREAT EVENING!

Emerald Tiara Martini

Cocktail Time, Entertaining, Fabulous After 50, Uncategorized
The Queen Loves Her Tiaras!

Only the Best for the Queen and Her Guests!

The Making of Martinis

When I give you my drink recipes, I don’t give them to you in ounces. I’ll give you the recipe in “parts.” When entertaining, I typically mix my drinks in a large martini shaker, so that I have 3 or 4 drinks mixed at one time.  Also, I have a collection of martini glasses that range in size, so what will fill one glass, won’t fill another.

With my drink recipes, you are able to mix one drink or a whole punchbowl at a time!  I often mix a few large pitchers of my “signature drink” just before a party, store in the fridge, and pull out one pitcher at a time. I then put ice into my martini shaker, fill it up with my signature drink, shake and pour.  It makes my bar more efficient, and my party goers get their drinks faster!

For all of my signature martinis, I typically try to have all of the ingredients prechilled before mixing them up. I store the alcohol in the freezer for a few days ahead, so it’s as cold as possible.  No sense watering down a perfectly good martini with a lot of ice, trying to get it cold!

The first martini I am going to share with you  was created for my Beauty and the Beast Belle Tea.  Enjoy!

Emerald Tiara Martini

 

1 part Midori Liquor

2 parts Chilled Malibu Rum

2 parts Chilled Pineapple Juice

 

Before the party, I prepare my martini glasses by sugaring the rims. Leave a few unsugared, for those guests who don’t like a sugared rim. (Most of mine seem to prefer the sugared rim).

I simply use a drop or two of food coloring to go with certain martinis. In this case a tiny bit of green and yellow were added to sugar in a zip-lock baggie, mixed until the color is throughout, then put into a medium sized plate to sugar the rims.  Use a lemon or orange, wet the rim of the glass and dip into the sugar.

Then, just before the guests arrive I pour a small amount of Midori in the bottom of each glass, just to add a pop of color at the bottom of the martini.

Add ice to your martini shaker, put in your ingredients, shake and pour into prepared glasses. Add your garnish.

I often garnish with a stick of raspberries and blueberries, also prepared ahead of time.  You don’t have to do this, it just adds a festive and colorful flair to  drinks. Another lovely garnish for this would be a slice of pineapple, or a stick with pineapple on it.

The “Belles” of the Ball!

Cocktail Time, Entertaining, Sexy After 60!
"Belle" Patti & Stella the Greek!

“Belle” Patti & Stella the Greek!

The “Belles” of the Ball!

The minute I heard that the new Beauty and the Beast movie was coming out, I knew I had to plan something special!  You can’t let an opportunity for something this exciting just slip on by, without making “an event” of it, now can you?  After all, it had been about 3 weeks since the release of “50 Shades Darker” and we had a fantastic time doing THAT up right at my friend Stella K’s home, so we were DEFINITELY due for a bit of fun with this one! The idea was quickly hatched for a “Belle Ball” tea and movie day!

Me Dressed Up as Belle

Me Dressed Up as Belle

I planned an afternoon tea.  My dining table seats 10 comfortably, 12 if you squeeze.  So, I figured I’d invite 14, and end up with 10 or 12.  Great planning, except a few girlfriends asked if they could bring a friend, and I’m never one to leave someone out of the fun……. So we ended up with 14 in the end!  You should have seen me scrambling to figure out how to add 2 more places to my dining table.  But, remember the old saying about creative minds, and all that!  With Stella’s help, we figured out that one of my end tables was just about the right height. That, and a few pieces of cardboard, and a piece of plywood from Home Depot, and Viola’- a table for 14 we now had!  I just didn’t want to split my friends into 2 groups, so although we were a bit smooshed, by God, it worked!

The table, extended as far as possible!

What Does a “Belle” Wear?

I instructed the ladies to wear their ball gowns, tiaras, or whatever apparel THEY felt was right for Beauty and the Beast.  Then I went about finding myself a gown worthy of Belle herself!  I ordered the prettiest “Belle” costume I could find, then worked on  making it prettier.  It arrived with some weird pink ribbon rosebuds on it.  Belle doesn’t have pink ribbon rosebuds, for God’s sake!  So, off they came, then  I added yellow roses, strands of pearls, tulle netting, more roses, more pearls, a hoop slip, gloves a tiara, and dammit I may be the oldest living “Belle” on the face of the earth, but it turned out pretty darned well!

I decided to go with an Easter theme for my table, since I already had Easter decorations out at my house. I found the cutest darned “bunny” plates in pink and blue at the 99 cent store……… so pastels and bunnies it was!

The ladies arrived, and let me tell you, it’s not every Tuesday afternoon at 1:30 that your friends show up in ball gowns, mother-of-the-bride gowns, tiaras, prom dresses and such! What fun it was!

3 of my “Fabulous After 50” Girlfriends!

If I do pat myself on the back, my tea was an amazing success, and the food was awesome.  I’ll share some recipes later.  The first I’ll share will be my “signature” martini I made for the day.  I called it a “Emerald Tiara” and it was enjoyed by all who partook! (Keep your eyes peeled for the recipe!  I’ll be posting it soon!)

I had happened upon an estate sale with some beautiful teacups, teapots and other tea items. They became my party favors. I let each woman draw a number to pick out which gift they would like.

Party Favors for the Belle Ball Tea

Party Favors for the Belle Ball Tea

Making New Friends – Getting to Know You!

We had placecards,  so that the lovely ladies ended up sitting next to someone they didn’t know well, and would have the opportunity to make a new friend. I SO hate it when you are at a party and only get to talk to the person on each side of you!  I like a little “table conversation” which everyone takes part in. I asked each lady around the table to tell us something about themselves that no one might know, and they had to share how they ended up at our Beauty & the Beast party.  My friend Stella and I like to mix up our little parties, and invite new people whenever we can, so that it doesn’t get old and worn out!  This was a great example of that!  Lots of new faces, and ALL so dolled up!

The “Belle Ball” ladies, just before the movie

After tea, the ladies got their movie bags I had made for them, which included a bit of “Naked Popcorn” and candy, and off to the movies we went!  We LOVED the movie!  And let me tell you, the little girls at the movie LOVED that we were all so dressed up!

My favorite part of the movie expedition was one little girl, probably about 6 who came up to me in the lobby and said, “I think you are beautiful.  Maybe you could sell crowns like yours out front, so that little girls could each have one.  Then, you could go to birthday parties and make every little girl SO happy.”  So, there you have it!  I have a new career in the wings, if need be!  And this proves, you are NEVER too old to play dress up! It is so much fun to put on another persona for a few hours!  Don’t worry about what people will say when you step out of “the norm!”  We had positive feedback from everyone around us, and we all felt like a “queen for a day!”